Horse lovers know that their equine pals have an excellent sense of humor, albeit subtle. So today, I thought it wise, to do a flying lead change and post an amusing set of rules which horse fans have put together in an attempt to keep order at the barn. I would like to thank Jock4Hire for sharing the "rules", and M00NLTSNTA for the adorable photograph of her equine and feline friends.
1. I am human. You are horse. What I say goes. Please take that into consideration when you are standing on my foot.
2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled in another horse's stall. It still belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason to go in and eat it.
3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day. I will find it. Do not hide it. (Kitties will disagree vehemently.)
4. I do not need your help when I clean the stable, nor do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I have been cleaning the stable and stalls ever since you lived here. I know what I am doing. Standing at the door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.
5. You do not have to break in to the store room to get at the feed. Meals are given at specific times of the day. There is a schedule. You know the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know that I know that you know the schedule. There is no need to help yourself.
6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, fence, or the occasional dog.
7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.
8. Because I have just come out of the tackroom doesn't mean you automatically get food. There is other stuff in the tackroom. Stuff you don't want: like wormer, fly spray, shots, and medicine.
9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be enjoyed...by anyone.
10. Water travels through the hose. If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose. The water buckets will fill much faster.
11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic bags, balloons, hoses, squirrels and other small rodents, or bright blue tarps.
12. Although I understand the need for you to relieve yourself, it is not necessary to hold it in all day until the moment I finish cleaning your stall and put away the wheel barrow.
13. Accidents happen. However, I'm not altogether sure you're not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide to impale yourself on some sort of object, please try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the weekend, or Christmas.
14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.
15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not make me feed you any faster.
16. I have to wait patiently too, while you are being shod. There is no need to bite me.
I hope you enjoyed this "New Rules", which even Bill Maher might find worthy for his show, "Real Time." Please leave a comment and share any other rules that you might want enforced!